I guess the title of this blog post makes no sense unless you are a part of my inner dialoge. I was thinking of how much I love the autumnal season, and that I basically worship leaves. It is my beleaf, I guess. (I totally get it if you find my sense of humor a bit lame. I do so as well.)

I have not been feeling all that great recently, but I need a trip outside now and then - even though it has been so cold that I have kind of frozen my butt off. I especially did when taking these photos. A good thing with having a Fjellräven Kånken as a everyday bag is that you have a seat pad with you at all times (if you remember to keep it inside the backpack that is), but even that was too cold. How will I handle winter? (The answer to that is to stay inside. As much as possible. Under my blanket or duvet. Forever.)
alt Here we see a wild Susanne in her natural habitat. It is a rare sight, as this creature spends most of her time hibernating - even during the summer months. The photographer was very lucky to capture this leaf dance of excitement before the creature goes back to its hibernation.

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To hibernate might seem like a good thing to most people, and I do try to handle my illness with as much positivity as I can. But I do not want to hibernate, and I do wish I could spend more time being social, experiencing normal every day things and more special events. But right now I cannot, and I need to be OK with that to have quality of life, even though it is a limited one at this point in my life. I try to find comfort in the fact that I could be even more badly affected by ME. I could be severely ill, and I could become worse if I am not able to slow things down right now. I think even the healthiest of people should learn how to slow things down sometimes. Even though most members of our society keeps a high pace, almost like a high speed train, I get to see all the little things as I am going forwards on my slightly broken tricycle. It might take me a small eternity to get where healthy people are, but I get to enjoy the sight a bit more on my way there. I guess we can call that my beleaf.

-Susanne

Outfit details: dress and cardigan from Zara, scarf from H&M, hat from Brixton and boots from Bianco.